Saturday, November 29, 2014

The Perfect One




“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” 

After knowing my wife for over 38 years, this quote struck me in a way it certainly would not have 38, or maybe even 10 years ago. We've lived through the typical "struggles" of life, raising two children, building two houses, quarrels over important and petty things, paying bills, changing jobs, death of friends and relatives and events that were (we thought) unique to us, battling foreclosure, getting pushed out of a business I helped to build and even seeing my Linda laying unconscious on the floor after being hit by an errant baseball throw - a week before giving birth to Matthew. Turns out, none of those made us special or unique. That's life. And none it prepared us to deal with ALS.

Much of life is about expectations. How we set them, how we follow through with them and, as this quote points out, the often unspoken expectations we cast on others. I've been so far from perfect over the years, I'm amazed Linda has stayed with me. I know the expectations I set for her of me early in our marriage weren't realistic. And neither were my expectations of her. I guess that's what they mean when they say "nobody's perfect.

Anyone going into a relationship would be well served to take this quote to heart. Post it somewhere where you'll see it every day. Linda and I have made it through some very difficult times that would have crushed most marriages. Reading this quote made me realize that it's not because we're able to ignore each other's faults, but because we've always accepted them (and again, I have many more than she has).

We're not perfect - but we're perfect for each other.

I love you Linda and I'm thankful every day that you know my faults and make me a better man.


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